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Since the invention of Modern Warfare and the longer lifespan of modern soldiers due to technological and medical advances, there are more PTSD relationships than ever. It’s a new territory in the dating arena that is increasingly difficult to navigate. Warrior Lover addresses the issues that are exclusive to Combat PTSD relationships. Witty and compelling, Warrior Lover is an entertaining read that delves into the difficulties and rewards in dating a Combat Veteran and how to strengthen that relationship.

Chapter 7

The Four Horsemen

By now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that your Vet has more tools of protection and armory than someone who hosts a hunting show. I’m sure his (or her) gun and knife collection is absolutely amazing. He (or she) probably also has some mementos of time spent in the service. Those Cammies sure are sexy, aren’t they? What about those Combat Ribbons and Medals? Those are pretty hot too! What about that body armor and tactical gear? Hmmm… he or she might be going a little overboard with that one, don’t you agree?

Unless he (or she) has divulged this information to you, you probably have NO IDEA of why your Vet still owns or continues to buy items for his or her protection. It’s because he (or she) has a fear of the Apocalypse. My Vet likes to call it “WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN”. It’s such an endearing term, isn’t it?

But,“The War is over for them”, you cry! Guess what (again)? It isn’t. The PTSD does not ALLOW them to believe that being in a “safe” zone means that they are actually safe. What it means is that to them is that they are TEMPORARILY safe. The SHIT CAN HIT THE FAN at any time in their minds. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I honestly don’t know the answer to that, but what I do know is that perception is reality to them. When you have a person that has had their life threatened on the daily for months at a time, been shot at in numbers nearing the thousands and have had the flight or flight regions of their brains on CODE RED for endless days, the concept of THE SHIT HITTING THE FAN isn’t as foreign to them as it is to the rest of us.

Ok, so now we know WHY our partners have enough weapons to take down a small army, but the question now is to decide what we need to do with it. Many partners find the guns, knives, and other methods of protection, pretty intimidating. It’s somewhat disturbing when you see knives on several surfaces in their homes or find guns under the pillows. I get it. It’s kind of strange. However, like the PTSD or the physical injuries, it’s probably not going to change. What you need to decide for you is if you can live with it. They have a RATIONAL fear of the end times. They’ve seen it in action. Sure, it wasn’t in their own country but now they can envision it happening everywhere –even where he or she lives!

If you find these “quirks” disturbing, dating a Combat Vet probably isn’t for you. This is REAL LIFE FEAR to them and it’s definitely got a stronghold in their lives. Keep this in mind as you move further in your relationship. On one hand, it’s a great feeling to know that you will be safe WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN, but on the other hand, you need to have COMPLETE TRUST in a person that you know is mentally damaged to not ever use those weapons against you. If you do, then you rock, Warrior Lover! If you don’t then you should probably prepare to leave.

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Leilani Anastasia


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