Hi! My name is Lacey. I wrote a novel with the intention that it might give women and men hope that they too can find freedom and discover their self worth. I left an abusive relationship and survived. You are worthy and deserve a joyful, free life. My experiences are true and I trust that they can help you to find freedom in my story.
In October 2014 he was on his way home from work and was texting me and calling me to let me know when he would be home, his travels consisted of 8 hours of driving and stopping to get gas/eat etc. He told me to relax and have a drink and he would be home soon to me. I did the usual every time he was coming back from camp, I would have my nails painted French manicured, hair styled, shaven and makeup fully done and be dressed up in a dress or skirt. He told me to drink because he knew that I wouldn’t drink and drive. He was also aware that I did not have enough money for cab fare if I wanted to find him or leave the house. He should have been home close to 9 pm, but the hours passed slowly and he wasn’t home and wasn’t replying to my texts or answering any of my calls. Around midnight he finally replied to one of my texts saying “ sorry wrong number”. I was livid and hurt and couldn’t believe him. I had access to both of our phone accounts so I logged in and started to call his most recent numbers hoping to find the girl that he was “friends” with but not sexual at all, so he told me. They had started talking at camp before we broke up and would chat in the gym for 30-45 minutes and he told me it was nothing so I believed him, sort of. A woman answered one of the numbers and I said hey is he with you and she said who is this and I said you know exactly who this is and she guessed my name. I said well is he with you, we are back together and engaged and have been together since September. She replied what, he told me you just moved back into the place to get your things and get back on your feet. I asked her if she was sleeping with him and she said yes. We talked on the phone for 2 ½ hours about everything and exchanged stories. We both agreed that we would better off without him and she told me she would pick me up since I had been drinking and I packed a bag to take to her house. I offered her a drink while at the house and I was surprised to see her. It was around 2 am in the morning and she was short, had facial piercings, was boy figured and opposite of me. Once talking for a while she texted him saying “fuck you” and he was surprised and called her and she said guess who im sitting with right now. He asked and she replied your fiancée. On the other end he said I don’t have a fiancée and he said well that’s what she is saying to me. I ended up taking the phone from her and having him yell at me and he said okay then I guess I can just stay with the third one right now, he was with another different girl all night too. He stormed in around 4 am, I had already called in sick to work. He attempted to kick us both out of the house and I said no I live here and I pay rent. She stormed out and he chased after her and said you stay here, she had already left and we had a huge fight. It was the first time I saw red with him and lost it, I was yelling and hitting him and he finally took my wrist and held me backwards on the kitchen counter and I stopped. We went to sleep and in the morning we talked about it all and he was in shock that I found out. He called his cousin in the morning and told him what happened and the only advice his cousin had was you need to choose. I told him that as well and that I came all the way back with the only money I had to make an honest effort in trying again, not to be used and abused and cheated on. In my head he had already chosen me and I made him promise to stop all contact with her. She texted me saying “ sorry I’m here for you”, he forbid me from talking to her. He said If I did then he would break up with me, this was his continual threat the next few months. We talked about it and I chose to forgive him. I gave him his trust back as he went back to Camp, where she had also worked. While away he told me he was sick and wanted to go to bed early and me wanting to not smother and give him his space said okay. He would question me, why are you okay with this, you sleeping alone, you usually are upset when we can’t talk. He asked me previously to give him his freedom, yet questioned it when I trusted him and gave it to him.